Today is the second day I am in Jakarta yet my mind is till thinking of my baby. Yesterday when I was still in KL. He told me that it is not as if we are going to break up and you are going back for holiday, so why have to cry? those words gave me strengh even just for awhile.
However, whenever I am in his arm and whenever he hug me, I felt so comfy and the feeling was just so nice. I couldnt stop myself to and let my tears out.
My heart soften whenever I heard him say I love you and throughout the day at home and in airport. Having him at by my side, I am more than happy and when he hugged me for the last moment before I left. I just wish time could stop. I cried and I cried all the way up the airplane.
We never part, even just a day for almost 10 months. we know each other ugly side and tend to get pissed at each other and also treated coldly. BUT, when I was about to leave. that was the moment, where I just want him to be by my side and wants to treasure every single moment.
at that moment, it made me realise that I want to have a better relationship with him and stay close to him. I dont care if he say that I am being manja but I prefer that than being cold to each other.
Today is a nightmare to me, I hate to live a life full of fear and pretend. I really want to fix my relationship with my dad. I would do anything but today made me think that it is useless.
He scolded me just because I miscalculated the amount of money. I dislike the way he talk. so sharp and hurt me so bad. Until made me think, IF only I got money. I wont even bother to ask and try to please him so much. I tried my very best to care and yet still useless.
Then my baby, he tried to cheer me up. Thank you dear and I miss you so bad.
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