ISSUES

Entering 2012, set a new year resolution. I need to get rid of worrying about unimportant issues.

I've been working as a marketing exec. for 9 months long in advertising line.

Many things I dont know, Many things I learn along the way, I made alot of mistakes along the way.

I always picture myself to be successful, achieve a high position, meeting important people.

But how many going to climb the ladder if I cant overcome my worst weakness?

I cant keep making careless mistakes, even to the smallest issue. I've to make up my mind and decide before everything is too late. In order to survive I have to learn to be more professional!

Making mistakes, analyze them and find the solution how to improve! I cant be wasting my time to keep on dwelling on the mistakes I made and the impression left on my boss. Let the past mistakes be, don't feel too ashamed, you are willing to learn. Be more analytic, serious and accurate!

Sometimes, I felt relationship is been such a pain in the ass. Lately, the past few months, ever since he is back from Melbourne. I have to adjust to his lifestyle, his perspective about things. I tried to take the effort to spend time with him, went over to his hometown, spent my holidays with him. I had fun but I felt he is keeping things to himself. I realise we've not spend time to really look at each other in the eyes, really checking each other out. we've been busy to catch up with our nonstop activities. every single day. without we realise this causes our relationship drawing apart. we cannot sync with each other thoughts.

I put so much concern, effort, time, and feeling in it. I dont understand why I feel I am the only one who care about this relationship?

wont I get tired? wont I be frustrated? YES! I am feeling damn tired. sometimes way to tired, till I no longer know what to do. I tried to compromise every time we have issues. I should not be doing it alone, and if I do it alone - It is not worth the fight. every single day I over think of everything, concerning on every little thing, this thoughts have been eating up my life. it feel sucks. I never need him to buy me a diamond or roses every single day, or pay for expensive meals. All I need to know is he is to be a little bit more sensitive to what I will feel if he acts certain way, paying more attention to me, acknowledge me by asking my opinion about anything.

exactly 9 days left, before he is leaving to Melbourne and again I need to go through Long distance relationship. I can wait another 1 year for him to come back, I can be loyal, I can be patient, but I cant deny I am afraid, I am feeling very insecure.

On Valentine's day and on our 3rd year anniversary. I don't need flower, I dont need gifts all I need to know that I am matters to him. that every single thing I thought it was but it isn't. I need my man to look at me in the eye and tell me, I love you and you're matters to me, I will work hard and do the best for us.

Before he leaves, I want to get rid every doubt I have in me. that's my wish for this valentine. :(